I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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