I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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