We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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