Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
