yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
