In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
you're hired as official boob wrangler
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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