She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
