you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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