so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
