the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
