.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
