i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You took a bar mat shot.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
