Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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