You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
