I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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