Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
