Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
