it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
