i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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