Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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