He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
