Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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