you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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