I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Actions speak louder than pants.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
