that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize