i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
