Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
