i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
