she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
