So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just had sex on a roof
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize