is your mom at the bar?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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