So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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