Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
