Christians are straight up FREAKS
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Randomize
