she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
