Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
