I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Enjoy the penises
FUCK WHALES
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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