the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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