I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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