too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
