Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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