you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize