And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
