Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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