I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
