i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
