the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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