i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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