Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
