New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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