you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
