I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I know her cup size but not her name....
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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