Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
