We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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