so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
