sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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